Redefined.....Vacation

 

I think in  our minds we all have something we think of when we say I need a vacation.....there is a place or a time of year that says vacation to us. Most of the time we say "I need a vacation" when we are stressed, overworked and just worn out. Maybe we hear the beach calling our names just because we don't want to have to answer to our grown up responsibilities or commitments. It seems the older that I get the word "vacation" has had a makeover, it has been redefined.

 

While like most people I do cry out for a vacation when the days get long, the kids get louder and the tasks seems to stack higher and higher....but....it seems the word "vacation" is redefined after our biggest life changing moments. We have had a few vacations just for fun, but we have had our vacations to run away from reality and hurt that was waiting at home, we have had vacations to reconnect our marriage and our family. It seems though that the word "vacation" has yet again been redefined. Since the accident I really have not let myself write to much about it, I just did not feel that I was ready to pen those words on to paper or permanently etch them on the walls of my blog until I knew I was ready. That accident did more than total a car, it really did alter the fabric of our family. It brought perspective and sadness, worry and fear. To say is changed our lives would be a true statement, our family has had their ups and downs and we have seen some difficult days, but this sent a shock wave through each of us.

 

I remember I closed my eyes when I saw her coming, as if I knew what was about to happen. I had no chance to react, I had no choice in the events that were to follow but never the less I knew. With my eyes closed it was silent except the crunching sound of the two cars colliding together, the kids where silent. I felt the air bags hit me and I felt the car spin....I remember opening my eyes to a haze and silence, my first reaction was to the children...of course with the impact I was so afraid of what I would turn around to. God's hand of protection was on them both for the most part untouched. A woman came to our car and helped me quickly get the kids out of the car....her calm spirit was reassuring, God certainly put her there that day. 

 

 I remember sitting on the side walk as though I was having an out of body experience, as though I knew what was happening but it wasn't real. There was ambulances, trips to the hospital, tears and prayers. Seeing the fear on my husbands face and the face of our friends, transformed what I thought was something small into something much greater.  I count my blessings that I walked away with such minor injuries, no matter how painful they are....the what ifs put those things into perspective. We have spent the last month dealing with the insurance, settlements, finding a car, dealing with the mental and emotional, we have broken down and cried, there has been a lot pain and trips the doctor, there has been sleepless nights and nightmares. Our lives have been turned upside down.

 

 Our vacation was already planned, our usual spring getaway before summer. That to has seen some change, watching the children run and laugh with no worries or fear, listening to the freedom in their voices as they play....no nightmares just peaceful sleep. Putting my feet in the sand and freeing up my calendar and not having to answer insurance phone calls or worrying about finding a car or how those bills will be paid. We can rest. Seeing my husband turn off his phones and sleep in the afternoons, gives me joy knowing that after the emotional turmoil this has caused him he can finally lay his head down and rest in peace.

 

God allows us a timeout, a time to recharge and rest. A time to see what is truly important. While there will be many more vacations and times away this one has brought us peace, and rest. Thank you God for our timeout.